Why Fear Submission?

Now here is the ultimate scary "S" word, especially for women. As a bridesmaid at my friend Jackie's wedding 30 years ago, I became so awfully afraid when the minister marrying Jackie and John mentioned wifely submission that it took all of my willpower not to vomit in the middle of their ceremony.

My husband asked me recently, "Why is it that so many women hate the word 'submission'?"

Ephesians 5:22-33, which speaks of wives and husbands giving themselves totally to each other is the most beautiful, fantastic idea of marriage that I could imagine.

22You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord. 23For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church; he gave his life to be her Savior. 24As the church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything. 25And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her 26to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God's word. 27He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife. 29No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body, which is the church. 30And we are his body. 31As the Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." 32This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.(NLT)

Submission is a gift from God but Satan has fooled us into fearing God's gift. Men have mistakenly twisted this thing so that it looked as if only women were commanded to submit. They twisted it so that submission looked like an obligation to lie down like a doormat. They twisted it so that the only thing it seemed a man had to do was give the orders and demand obedience; he didn't even have to believe in God but his wife was supposed to believe in him. As is often the case, one verse of scripture, Ephesians 5:22, was taken out of context for hundreds of years in order to justify the desires of a patriarchal society, the desires of men's flesh. (That's why women have lived in fear of the word "submission".)

Satan constantly conspires with our flesh to pervert the precious things of God. He rouses us into rebellion to keep us from getting all that God has in store for us. Satan makes us his doormats by twisting the truth so that we believe Christ's standards will make doormats of us. The violent fear I felt at Jackie and John's wedding was the result of falling for this twisted trick of Satan, so that I thought the principle of submission was a plot to weaken me, an evil to be fought at all costs.

Christ's standards of submission require strength. Perfect submission requires nothing less than the power of God in us.

Biblical submission means allowing yourself to be used (but not misused) by your co-builders in Christ's kingdom. It's about letting order reign in the body of Christ.

God needs living rocks that will offer ourselves to be chiseled and shaped and placed where He needs us, fitting together with His other living rocks, to become part of Christ's church, the foundation of His eternal kingdom. He refers to this offering of oneself as submission.

1 Corinthians 16:16 lets us know that all Christians should submit to each other and respect each other's work in the church.

Hebrews 13:17 says, Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you. (NIV)

1 Peter 5:5 instructs us to submit to the wisdom of our elders, those who are more experienced in Christ than we are.

And Ephesians 5 instructs husbands and wives to submit to each other as two parts of a whole, equal in worth but having different assignments. A partnership can't work if both partners try to fulfill the same role.

My husband is called to trust Jesus (trust is the essence of submission) and put his will under the will of God. When my husband puts himself under the will of God, I can then trust my husband and put my will under his. Both of us are trusting God, but God requires us to do so in a particular order, just as stones can't just be thrown together to make a building; a certain order is required.

All three "S" words--surrender, sacrifice, and submission--scare us for one reason: because when we think about these "S" words we focus on our own weakness instead of on God's strength. Or maybe we don't trust God.

Surrender means to lose the will to fight God.

Sacrifice means to submerge your will in order to accept the responsibilities God has given you.

Submission means to make it your will to do God's will.

How much strength does it take to run away from God, reject responsibility, and do your own will?

When we admit our weaknesses and give in to God, that's when His strength builds us up to do His will.

If Jesus had not surrendered in spite of His strength, if Jesus had not sacrificed Himself, if Jesus had not submitted to the Father's will, there would have been no Calvary. There would be no road home to heaven and we'd all be on our way to Hell. There'd be no good news to share, no amazing grace.

I don't know about you, but I'd rather be in the will of the Creator of the Universe, than on my own.